


Curls

by Dexthecryptid (Godtie)



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Depression, M/M, Mental Health Issues, nursey is an idiot but he tries his best ok
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-02
Updated: 2016-06-02
Packaged: 2018-07-11 18:10:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7064560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Godtie/pseuds/Dexthecryptid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dex get’s his haircut every month. It’s a regular appointment at the cheapest barber in the town he’s in. Every first Sunday of the month he goes, scrolls through twitter as he waits for his turn, gets a buzz cut, and goes home to take a shower to get rid of all the tiny hairs making the back of his neck itch.</p><p>The only time he doesn’t keep up with his appointment is when he’s depressed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Curls

Dex get’s his haircut every month. It’s a regular appointment at the cheapest barber in the town he’s in. Every first Sunday of the month he goes, scrolls through twitter as he waits for his turn, gets a buzz cut, and goes home to take a shower to get rid of all the tiny hairs making the back of his neck itch.

The only time he doesn’t keep up with his appointment is when he’s depressed.

It doesn’t happen often, and he only starts skipping it if he isn’t at home. At home his mother will begin nagging him about it and eventually drive him to get it cut herself. When he gets depressed at college, it’s another story. His hair starts growing out, and when he would usually begin getting annoyed at the length he finds himself unable to gather enough motivation to go to the barber.

He knows it’s a surefire sign of his mental state. Just like the state of his room, how much he stays in bed, his appetite. Being at home when he was depressed was almost helpful, his parents still forced him to do things and get up and go out so he wasn’t stuck wallowing. But Samwell doesn’t have people who did that for him.

He doesn’t miss practices, but if he does he feigns sick. He still goes to classes. For the most part he gets his work done. But everything else slows down. He doesn’t talk as much at team breakfasts, focusing more on his plate. He begins to eat slower, then starts leaving food on his plate when he usually cleans it. He gives himself extra time to get to classes in case he finds himself unable to rush. 

But the most noticeable symptom of his depression is that he gets more irritable. Smaller things set him off. He finds himself angry at increasingly stupider things. There’s not enough milk for his cereal left. Someone snuck a bite of the pie he was eating. His toothbrush isn’t in the usual place he leaves it. Someone nudged him a little too hard during practice. Someone from the other team gave him a weird look during the game. 

It doesn’t take much to make him bristle.

Most of the team notices, and the one’s who don’t are taken aside by Chowder and told to go easy on him. Chowder tends to keep a close eye on his two closest friends, and he’s begun to learn the signs of Dex’s depression. The first few times it was relatively short, only a few weeks at most, before Dex was able to bounce back. Chowder took it on himself to learn what Dex needs when he’s not doing well. Overall it mostly consists of forced human interaction (Chowder will insists he needs someone else in his room to study), understanding and support when he’s irritated (Chowder has been subject to many of Dex’s rants about petty things, but he’s learned Dex will feel better if Chowder gets riled up with him), and to not provoke him. 

Nursey is only good at one of those three needs, and without the other two it just gets Worse. The past few times when Dex has been depressed, lasting a week or two at most, Nursey definitely noticed the increase of fights. He noticed that Dex was set off by progressively smaller and smaller things. He noticed that he would even lash out if Nursey so much as brushed against him. But he didn’t connect the dots. Chowder does tell him to go easy of Dex at those times, but it’s hard to when Dex is constantly yelling at him for nothing. He feels like he has to defend himself because Dex is being irrational. 

Dex’s depression hits him hard just as winter break is ending. Even though he has a large hockey scholarship, most of what’s actually allowing him to attend Samwell, he still needs extra help. And extra help means additional scholarships, and additional scholarships means a lot of essays. He was only able to snag a few for his first year, enough to actually go to school with only a relative amount of strain on his family’s wallet. But it’s scholarship season again this year, and his parents have informed him he needs a few more because money is even tighter.

He comes back to school and is able to keep his attitude up around friends for a month. Deadlines aren’t immediate, so as long as he can distract himself he’s okay. After that month, and the deadlines begin to approach, he isn’t able to force a smile as often. He gets more irritable, doesn’t go out as much, spends more time alone. Chowder notices, and Dex confides in him occasionally about it, but this time it’s worse than usual. It isn’t just a week or two. It’s been a month, and it doesn’t look like it’s going to be letting up anytime soon.

After the first month, he’d skipped two haircuts. His hair was beginning to get unmanageable and annoying, but on top of that, curly. The reason he keeps it so short is because it curls if it gets too long. He turns into a strange ginger cloud.

Nursey notices. It’s just about the only thing he notices is truly different about Dex in the past month. He attributes his irritability to Dex being Dex. He attributes his lack of presence when everyone is hanging out to the fact that he took an extra class this semester to try and get ahead with his credits. And his hair is getting longer, maybe he’s too busy to go to the barber? But his hair is definitely longer.

But as the curls start forming Nursey falls deeper and deeper in love. He always wished Dex’s hair was longer. While usually it’s enough to hypothetically run his hands through, it definitely wasn’t enough to hypothetically be able to grab or pull should a situation where that action would be appreciated should rise. Now it was growing into a mess of fluffy curls that looked like heaven to touch. Nursey chirped Dex about it, mostly because he wasn’t sure how to go about complimenting his hair without Dex being suspicious. But Dex reacted extremely to his chirps. Nursey would say one thing about his hair, make one comment, and Dex would either snip back at him with a straight up insult, or just get up and leave.

After about two and a half weeks Nursey finally gave up on it. But he still couldn’t get the thoughts of Dex’s hair out of his mind. And he wants to let him know that he loves how it looks. How much he wants to know what it feels like in between his fingers, maybe as they lay in bed together. He couldn’t help that his mind wandered during his writing and literature classes. He finds himself doodling Dex in the margins. An idea forms in his mind.

He gets a pad of sticky notes. They’re bright orange. If he can’t chirp Dex about his hair, or outright compliment it, he’ll just have to do it another way. He begins doodling Dex and his hair on the notes when he’s bored, then placing them on Dex’s things. His books, laptop, usual seat in the kitchen, on the bathroom mirror in the Haus. Anywhere Nursey knows Dex would eventually find them.

Dex hates them. Dex despises them. Nursey chirping him about his hair was one thing. He could at least just leave if anything. But every sticky note he finds with a doodle of him and his hair he just gets angrier. It’s just a reminder of how terribly he’s doing. Just a reminder of how awful he feels, and for such an elongated time. He makes up excuses when his mother asks for a picture of him because if he sends one she’s going to demand to know why he hasn’t been to the barber. He doesn’t want to have that conversation. But every sticky note reminds him of everything he has to do and everything he hasn’t done. 

He crumples the first one up.

They don’t stop coming, though. Nursey watches Dex destroy some that he finds. He watches him crumple them up and throw them. He watches him rip them up. It breaks his heart, but he keeps doing it. Dex is just being irritable, he reasons. Reacting extremely to get a rise out of Nursey. In reality, Dex’s anger increases each time he sees them. He has to physically restrain himself from punching the bathroom mirror once. He doesn’t use the Haus bathroom for a week after that. But overall, he keeps his cool. Not really, but he doesn’t outright yell at Nursey about it anymore. He’s tired. He’s exhausted. Anger will give him energy for only so long. And he doesn’t want to outright tell anyone he’s depressed. He managed to avoid explicitly saying it to Chowder. Chowder understood. He doesn’t know if Nursey would.

Dex becomes increasingly stressed with the scholarship deadlines approaching. He yells more. He explodes more. The coaches begin to make him sit out at games because of how harsh he’s being to the other players. He isn’t seen unless it’s for practice or mandatory meetings. He’s harsh during practices. Bitty worries, especially when he begins turning down pie. His appetite is gone. He only eats when he knows he absolutely needs to.

This lasts until the last deadline passes. His hair is a puff of ginger by that time, curls beginning to engulf the tops of his ears. A week after the last deadline he comes back with a fresh shave. Nursey is disappointed, and he can’t help but voice it. They’re the only two in the Haus, aside from Chowder who’s upstairs “studying” (texting his girlfriend while she’s in class). Dex is on the couch, reading from a text book and squinting at his computer. Nursey flops down next to him, eyeing him.

“You cut your hair.” Nursey states, taking a sip of the beer he had just gotten from the fridge. Dex only sighs in return, eyes still trained on his book. Nursey studies him for a few moments before shrugging and smiling. “I kinda liked it, Poindexter. You look great with curls. It really accentuated your ginger-ness. You should have left it, would have had girls flocking to you like no one’s business. Seriously, you looked good.”

Dex finally looks at Nursey, snapping his head up. His face is stone cold, and Nursey would swear on his grandfather’s grave that he could physically feel Dex’s eyes boring through him. His mouth ran dry. “Yeah. Depression is a GREAT look on me, isn’t it?” Dex spits before jolting himself up, slamming his book on the ground, and stalking out of the house to god knows where.

Nursey is left speechless. He doesn’t move for a good thirty seconds before falling back against the couch, cold beer between his legs as he stares at the coffee table. Chowder cautiously comes downstairs, looking around for Dex. When he spots Nursey his lips squirm against each other. “Hey, uh, what was that?”

Nursey sighs, swallows around the lump in his throat, and leans forward to plant his beer on the coffee table. “Oh, you know. Just me being a complete fucking idiot.” 

Chowder finishes coming down the stairs. “Was it something with Dex?” He asks, eyeing the laptop on the coffee table and book splayed open on the ground.

Nursey runs a hand over his face, letting it hang there. “Yeah. Told him I liked his hair long.” Chowder makes a noise in the back of his throat, and Nursey drops his hand and looks at him. “Did… Did you know he was depressed?”

Chowder looks uncomfortable for a moment before he sighs and nods. “Yeah. I was the only one he would really talk to about it. Even then it was usually really vague. He hasn’t been doing well since the end of winter break.”

Nursey groans and brings both hands to his face, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees. “How was I so stupid, Chris? How did I not fucking notice.” He pauses, breathing. “Oh my god, I’ve been fucking terrible to him.” Chowder sits next to him, rubbing his back tentatively. “His hair. He gets it cut every month. It’s like a fucking ritual for him. I should have realized something was wrong.”

Chowder sighs. “It’s not your fault you didn’t realize, Derek. He didn’t tell you, and it’s not your job to know exactly how he’s feeling all the time.”

Nursey groans in response. “God, but it’s how you be a good friend to someone.” He pulls his face out of his hands, instead holding his cheeks and staring ahead. “Good friends recognize when their friend isn’t doing well. Good friends look out for each other. God I must have only made it worse.” He groans again, face slipping back into his hands. “All I did was chirp him and instigate. I’ve been awful.”

Two days later, after significant deliberation and Dex’s obvious avoidance of the Haus and even skipping a practice, Nursey is standing in front of Dex’s room clutching a worn and weathered beanie in his hands. He takes a deep breath before knocking, hoping he is catching Dex at a good time. Though, he feels like there would probably never really be a good time given the current situation.

Dex opens the door though. His face quickly flicks through a few different emotions. Curiosity. Surprise. Anger. Disgust. He pulls himself together and forces a stoic expression, giving a small sigh and crossing his arms. “What do you want, Derek?” 

Nursey’s eyebrows furrow slightly. “I was wondering if we could talk.” He says, more of a statement than a question. Dex only stares back. Nursey shifts uncomfortably under his gaze. His eyes flick down to the floor but instead catch sight of the beanie again. “Oh, and give you this.” He hold it up to display.

Dex furrows his brows in slight confusion, leaning around the hat to look at Nursey. “You wanted to give me an old Rangers beanie.”

Nursey removes it from Dex’s face with a nervous laugh. “Uh, yeah, I guess. I thought it’d match your ‘weathered fisherman’ look you usually got going on.” Dex doesn’t respond. “Uh, but actually, it was a beanie I got as a present when I went to my first NHL game with my Dad. It used to be my good luck charm for hockey games in high school. Rangers won the game we went to. Kinda stopped using it senior year because the guys back home started chirping me for how worn it was getting.” Dex is looking at him expectantly now. “Right, uh, the point is I wanted to give it to you. As like, a peace offering, of sorts. Maybe it’ll work with your scholarships? And if your head ever gets cold, uh, you could use it for that too.”

Dex looks between Nursey and the hat a few times, Nursey pushing it towards him slightly. Dex finally gives a soft sigh and takes it, turning it over in his hands. “Thank you.” He stares at it for a few long moments before looking back up at Nursey. Nursey notes that the top of his ears are pink. “You, uh, said you wanted to talk though?”

“Right! Yes.” Nursey replies, shifting his weight. “I just wanted to say I’m sorry. For everything I did over this past semester. I didn’t realize you weren’t doing well-” Dex looks away at that statement, back to the beanie. “But that doesn’t excuse my behavior. I was a real dick to you while you were going through some really rough shit. Friends aren’t supposed to do that to each other. I was a really terrible friend to you.” Nursey pauses but Dex only swallows and stares down at the hat in his hands, so Nursey continues. “There’s nothing I can do to take back how awful I was to you. But please let me know if there’s anything I can do to make it up to you. And come back to hanging out at the Haus. Everyone misses you. Everyone is really worried about you. Your laptop is still there-”

Dex sniffs, which takes Nursey by surprise, effectively silencing him. It isn’t a sniff of a stuffy nose, and he wasn’t sniffing before. It takes him a few moments, but then Dex is looking up at Nursey with watery eyes and Nursey’s heart shatters against his lung.

“Shit, sorry.” Dex says, bringing a hand up to wipe at his eyes. “Fuck, sorry, I just- Fuck. I don’t know. Thank you.” Nursey can tell he can’t hold back what’s happening, and a tear escapes the eye Dex isn’t wiping at in that moment. “Fuck.” Dex states, letting out a slightly watery laugh. Nursey decides to risk it. He reaches forward and pulls Dex into a hug. Dex responds immediately, bringing his arms around Nursey’s shoulders and burying his face in his shirt. “God, fuck, sorry.”

Nursey shushes him, rubbing his back. “Hey, no, it’s okay. This is more than okay. I’m here for you dude.” He pauses, taking in a slight breath, voice turning more serious. “I’m here for you Will, okay?” That earns a choked sob from Dex. Nursey hears something down the hall so he gently puts a hand on Dex’s waist. “I’m gonna move you back a few feet, okay?” He states before doing just that, guiding Dex back into his room and closing the door behind him.

He lets Dex cry on him until he’s done, rubbing his back and assuring him that it’s okay when Dex blubbers out more apologies. He cracks a few jokes which makes Dex laugh, then sob again. Nursey knows he probably really needs this. When Dex finally pulls away from Nursey’s shoulder it’s wet and his nose and eyes are red. Nursey is both heartbroken and endeared at the same time. Dex lets out a watery laugh again. “Shit, bro, sorry about your shirt.”

Nursey smiles. “Nah it’s fine, I have insurance against water damage.” He earns an eye roll and head shake from Dex. “Are you okay though?” He asks, face sobering up again.

Dex nods and sniffs, rubbing at his eye. “Yeah. Seriously, thank you. That-... This means a lot.” He explains, gesturing to Nursey as a whole with the beanie. 

Nursey smiles and nods. “I’m here to help.” He pauses before reaching out with both hands and lighting gripping Dex’s biceps. “I’m serious, though. I’m here to help. If you ever need anything, I want you to know that beneath all the bullshit I give you I’m your friend. I don’t wanna see you like that again if I can help it, ok?”

Dex rolls his eyes but nods. “Okay, okay. God, getting all sappy on me. Kind of disappointed I won’t be able to chirp you about this.” They both laugh. 

Nursey drops his arms and checks his phone quickly. “Alright, I told Chowder I’d be back in time to hang out after he finished seeing Farmer. See you at the Haus later?” He asks, giving Dex a pointed look.

Dex laughs and shoves his shoulder playfully. “Yes, I’ll be over later. Tell Bitty to make a pecan pie.” He moves away from Nursey to grab a tissue, and Nursey looks on fondly. 

“Alright. I’ll see you later.” He moves for the door, but pauses, turning around. “And don’t fuck up my hat, ok? Or like lose it or anything. That shit was limited edition.” He’s gone before the beanie can hit him, hitting the door instead.

**Author's Note:**

> I love my terrible, terrible boys. They try their best.
> 
> Want to send me a prompt, talk about this fic, or chat with me in general? Find me at [Dexthecryptid](http://dexthecryptid.tumblr.com) on tumblr!
> 
> [You can also find this fic on tumblr here.](http://dexthecryptid.tumblr.com/post/145289907126/curls)


End file.
